Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?

I am fascinated by how the mind works in this respect. We see people, we think about them, we live with them, and usually we want them to change in some way - especially when we are in long term relationships with them.



If we are honest with ourselves, have we really been able to change ourselves when others wanted us to change? No, I don't think so.

And even when we ourselves want to change a pattern or tendency, it is very difficult and at times feels impossible.



What is your experience?Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
It's easier to expect someone else to change.

If I could just get everyone else to be perfect, in the way I want them to be, then I wouldn't have any problems.

Ha Ha.

One key phrase in your question. %26quot;Honest with ourselves%26quot;

Aye. There's the rub.Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
I can't really compare our experiences - I am awfully timid about making suggestions to people - but a thought: really, changing yourself and changing others isn't an either-or deal. You may - probably do! - want to be a better person yourself, but you also want other people to be better, both for them and for you.Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
It's actually much easier to try to change others than to change yourself. I don't have much of a problem, since I try to get along with everyone, even those who are difficult. I can see a lot of ways they could change, but I feel it's really not worth the effort, so I just leave them alone. Live and let live, that's the way I see it.Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
It all comes down to human survival instincts. We are selfish creatures who want things for ourselves, and will only give things or help to others if it in someway benefits ourselves. People try to change others to match their own desires, needs, behaviors because we always think %26quot;My way is the right way%26quot; or %26quot;My way is the best way%26quot;. We are selfish, so we want others to do things our way and not their own.Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
The road to happiness is paved with compromise and sacrifice by accomodating others. Sometimes it seems like there may be a shortcut to happiness by trying to get others to accomodate *you* instead of the other way around.Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
Absolutely everyone is different, and the success of a relationship depends on the two people's abilities to accommodate for each other's differences. Any relationship, friendships and familial relationships included, is all about meeting each other halfway.



No one is perfect for anyone, but no one has to -- or really can -- change. If anyone believes they can change for someone or make someone else change for them, it is wishful thinking. People change on their own accord. They may be influenced by a relationship, but the main reason is still for themselves. They do it because THEY WANT the relationship to work, and in order to do so they try to become what the other person wants. Kind of confusing, but what I mean is, if you change, YOU are the first reason for your change.



Kinda makes us look selfish, eh?Why do we keep wanting to change others when we know how challenging it is to change our own behavior?
It is easier to tell someone to quit smoking, than it is to stop smoking, oneself.

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