How to change Fiances behavior?

Alot of you had trouble reading my last question so im going to break it down in short form, im asking this so that when he gets home we can have %26quot;the talk%26quot;..



ok so here it goes:



We have a child together who is 6, we are both 21 and he works and I am a stay at home mom. He is controlling, has a bad temper and blames his anger problems on the fact that he is Irish. Our 6 year old daughter is picking up his behavior and now he is blaming it on the fact that she is part irish. I am african american and I never dated a black guy before, he uses that fact to make rude remaks about black men, when our daughter has a crush on a black kid in her class he starts going off about black men etc etc.. he does the SAME for african american women but in his words %26quot;only the ghetto ones%26quot;.. another issue, my parents are taking his side on everything, he persuades them and they believe him, we been together since we were 12 so they see him as this %26quot;angel%26quot; which he is not. I am sick of his behavior and last night was my final breaking point on everything. I have tried TONS of times before to %26quot;talk' to him but it doesnt work, tonight will be the serious talk where its either he listens or i leave and am taking Alexis with me. Now she does favor her daddy alot more then me because he lets her have her own way and i dont again that is another problem i have with him he doesnt disipline her and uses the irish rage as an excuse. Teachers have even commented on our childs temperment problems and he couldnt care less instead he says %26quot;thats my daughter%26quot; as if its a good thing to have such a bad stubborn temper and to not want to learn anything new.



Any advice on how i should deal with this situation?? i want this sovled before we get married. Councelling is an agreement on both of our parts and so far he is not in agreement with it..How to change Fiances behavior?
You are getting mostly the messages of losing him. That is kind of easy to do. A relationship needs work each day. If you are not capable of keeping it up then , sure , leave him, find another man. But I will strongly suggest you to work it out. since he is so close to your family/parents, then why don't you tell the same thing you asked in here to your parents and get some matured people involved here to make things working. There is also another thing you must do , %26quot;Gain respect from him%26quot;, by doing that the hot temperament part will definitely will start going down. You should now start a decent job with decent money. Put daughter to a day care/ your mom's care something like that. take control of the situation instead of being a victim.How to change Fiances behavior?
Tell him if he does not go to counseling with you you will leave.Also it seems like it is time to get married or split,don't you think?How to change Fiances behavior?
You can't change him. Either accept that or don't marry him. I'm in favour of you not marrying him since he sounds like a racsit that is passing on his bad ideas to your daughter. I know you have been with him for a long time but that does not mean you have to spend the rest of your life with him. Good luck, honey. Just remember this...you can't change him.How to change Fiances behavior?
If he is not willing to seek help concerning his anger than why would you want to marry him? You cannot change him. He needs to see that there is a problem and want to change. your daughter should not have to be subjected to that type of behavior. You need to attend counseling for yourself and get your daughter in counseling and leave him. If he can get his act together than that is fine but there is no need in putting your daughter through his immature behavior it is obviously affecting her.



EDIT*** Even men who abuse their wives physically can be the best husbands when they are not abusive. that doesn't excuse their behavior any other time.How to change Fiances behavior?
Just the fact alone that he's racist, especially towards your ethnicity, would be enough for me to end the relationship. Where were all the black slanders when you all were 12? And I don't get how all black men are bad, but only the ghetto women are bad? Is that his sorry *** excuse for being racist, and married to an african american. Girl, if I were you, there would be no talk, it would be me leaving. I wish you luck, that's tough.How to change Fiances behavior?
I am married to someone like this... it is very difficult to handle, and in some ways, I thought he would eventually change.



Here's my advice: You cannot change him. Maybe councelling will help, maybe not, it all depends on him, if he wants to change. But if I were you, I would NOT marry him, until you see some positive changes in him, because things will continue, or possibly get worse. If things get worse, you will be stuck in a bad marriage.



Good luck, and I wish you the best.How to change Fiances behavior?
He either needs to agreement to counseling or you need to leave with your child. Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking this behavior is okay? If you do not get control of the situation now it will be to late later on. A relationship is a partnership and both parties contribute to it, it is not a one sided deal. You are both very young and sounds as if he as maturing to do before you should even consider marrying this man.How to change Fiances behavior?
You can't change a person, you can only change yourself.



If he sees nothing wrong with his behavior and refuses to go to counseling, you have two options. 1. Leave him, or 2. Marry him, that means accepting him for who he is and how he treats you.



If you do marry him without him making any changes in how he's treating you, he's going to think that means you're fine with his behavior and he will continue, it may get worse