How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?

Please can someone help me. I've annoyed some very good friends as I am a very %26quot;needy%26quot; person and also rather an attention seeker. I've just started seeing a counsellor but is there any hope for me that I can change? I really want to but I've tried before and failed. I'm on the verge of losing my lovely wife and the best mates anyone could have because of my behaviour and I'm struggling to forgive myself.How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
Hello mate!

It's hard to explain, I understand. Why? Because I've been through what you're struggling with right now too. But, I'll also tell you that the hardest step is to recognize where you may be failing and what you need to make it right. And it seems you've gotten this far, even if you may feel there's really no exact way to make things right sometimes. I'd be happy to offer you some advice:



*First thing you need to do is something you may already be doing. Get personal and professional help and advice from somebody outside of your circle. A counselor, or psychologist perhaps. They will be able to analyze, provide feedback %26amp; advice from a different point of view and truly help you find the root of your problem.

*Second: Talk to your friends and wife! Communication is such a strong element in any kind of relationship and can accomplish so much. Tell them about your problems and explain what you are doing to make things better for you AND them! Especially demonstrate what they really mean to you...never let that go unnoticed.

*Third: Find healthy activities you may enjoy! Hobbies, sports or pass times you may have forgotten you once enjoyed. Be it things you do on your own (which will help you to find and identify with yourself in a much better way-alone!) or things you can do as partners, or teams! These activities will broaden %26amp; strengthen your relationship with your loved ones!



Well, I hope you really do get things back on track. And wish you the best of luck in doing so! Let me know how you progress, ok? Take Care!How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
Ok I am studying Counselling.

You need to want to change. Counsellors wont give you direct advice or tell you what to do they will suggest ways for you to realise why you want to change, how your going to do it realistically and what motivations do you have to change. They will help you formulate goals to reach your change. Small goals to lead to a big difference. Do you know what kind of counsellor your seeing?

Person centered counsellors are really good i would recommend they help you change.

You can do it, just believe in youselfHow can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
Yes there is hope of changing if you really want to. you have to put some effort in and try and believe that you can do it. Just because you failed before maybe you weren't ready. If you really are willing to work with the counsellor then you can do it.How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
welll feeling too responsible and being needy go hand in hand; so giving up one means giving up the other really. you are not responsible for everything and stop taking everything personally.



if you rely too much on people just start doing things on your own. set your own goals, a step at a time. forgive mistakes and learn from them what may have gone wrong rather than beating yourself over the head.



now if you're not used to hearing encouragement it's probably because your environment was too competitive and critical. you can change your environment to cement the changes in yourself.



i hope this helps. i always do obviously. but realize the world is not on your shoulders and there is a way out of this prison of guilt you're in. Good luck my friend.How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
the first thing you need to do is have a bit of hope. if you worry that your councelling wont work, the chances are it wont.



the second thing is try not to beat yourself up about it, you have done things that you regret, but havent we all, its happened, and if you dont give yourself a chance to renew yourself it wont happen.



the fact that you have sought help indicates a real desire for change, and that is the first step to becoming a happier person.



cut yourself some slack, and take one day at a time.



it will be hard work going through your issues with your councellor, and you'll have to confront some uncomfortable truths about yourself.



In your sessions be completely honest with your councellor and yourself, they are there to help you and you have nothing to loose.



I used to be very unhappy with myself, but over time, i have come to feel more comfortable as me.



Remember, everyone does things they regret, and one of the amazing abilities about people is that they can change.



dont give up hope, its the struggle that makes it worthwhile.



good luck to you.How can I change my behaviour and forgive myself?
I am a very %26quot;needy%26quot; person and also rather an attention seeker. I've just started seeing a counsellor...



If the counselor was smart, he or she would throw you out of the office. It would be the best thing anyone could ever do for you. The problem for needy people is that there is always some sucker out there willing to try and take care of you. All they end up doing is enabeling the problem. What you do not need is sympathy, understanding, and/or a shoulder to cry on. All that does is give you more of what you already get from your emotional victims.



Can you change. %26quot;No.%26quot; You will never change because the thing about you that you want to change is your need to change. As long as you are thinking about changing, you will never fact the fact that you have been changing all along. Go look in a mirror. You are about to lose your wife. You are not the person you think you are. You have already changed and it is just your desire to pretend that you need to change that keeps you unchanged. Grow up! There is nothing called change that you have not already done.



Change is not what you need to do. You need to take care of business and if you get honest with yourself, you know exactly what that business is and it has nothing at all to do with %26quot;changing.%26quot; It has to do with getting off your butt and doing what it is that you know you need to do.



Sitting around in counseling and trying to feel better is just another way of being needy. Think about it, for you, a counselor is just an emotional prostitute. You pay them to meet your needs and care about you. You are the sort of person that can manipulate about 80% of the therapists out there. That's about the % of them that have a need to feel needed.



ISo you are a needy person, you pissed off your firends and you are about to lose your wife. Anyone who did the things you do would probably find themselves in the exact same situation. Since you can not go back and change anything, what do you plan on doing now? You can not control your wife and you can not control your friends. There is nothing that you can do to get your wife back if she had made up her mind to leave. There are no secrets to life, it is exactly as it is. The only thing you can control is yourself.



Now, you can sit in front of a therapist for six months to a year, or you can go take care of the stuff that you need to take care of.



Good luck.