How to change Fiances behavior?

Alot of you had trouble reading my last question so im going to break it down in short form, im asking this so that when he gets home we can have %26quot;the talk%26quot;..



ok so here it goes:



We have a child together who is 6, we are both 21 and he works and I am a stay at home mom. He is controlling, has a bad temper and blames his anger problems on the fact that he is Irish. Our 6 year old daughter is picking up his behavior and now he is blaming it on the fact that she is part irish. I am african american and I never dated a black guy before, he uses that fact to make rude remaks about black men, when our daughter has a crush on a black kid in her class he starts going off about black men etc etc.. he does the SAME for african american women but in his words %26quot;only the ghetto ones%26quot;.. another issue, my parents are taking his side on everything, he persuades them and they believe him, we been together since we were 12 so they see him as this %26quot;angel%26quot; which he is not. I am sick of his behavior and last night was my final breaking point on everything. I have tried TONS of times before to %26quot;talk' to him but it doesnt work, tonight will be the serious talk where its either he listens or i leave and am taking Alexis with me. Now she does favor her daddy alot more then me because he lets her have her own way and i dont again that is another problem i have with him he doesnt disipline her and uses the irish rage as an excuse. Teachers have even commented on our childs temperment problems and he couldnt care less instead he says %26quot;thats my daughter%26quot; as if its a good thing to have such a bad stubborn temper and to not want to learn anything new.



Any advice on how i should deal with this situation?? i want this sovled before we get married. Councelling is an agreement on both of our parts and so far he is not in agreement with it..How to change Fiances behavior?
Ok this is simple question my dear.Let me tell u this; the man you having don't leave him because he is yours.I am proud of you because you are the same as me a Black person.Irish people always have racism to black people.I see the Irish who are living here in America they pretend as if this America is theirs.And they think that black people know nothing.That is not good idea at all.I know nobody is perfect so you have to settle your difference in following ways;

1)Find the job to do so that you can be able to help him, the man become annoyed all the time because he is the only one provide stuffs in the house.So when he does not have money at that is when he become anger so he uses that behavior to protect himself.The man also mighty be lowering you because your parents see him as angel.He always gives them money etc so your parent they humble him for that.If you get the job to do your parents will depend on you not him any more and they will starting to support you.Let me tell you if you dnt have money dear people will never respect you at all.Dnt depend on him.

2)Show love to your baby and try to handle in good care,she will start to follow everything from you and no longer to his daddy.I know if you dnt have cash everybody see you as a trash.Even your baby follows her daddy because she knows that everyday she get something (presents) from the father.

3) Try to become new everyday so that if he comes i a temper way just come down and show him that you are different one.Let me give you this secret now any man to his woman(his wife,girlfriend or fiance) he is weak.Just try to use romantic words that will change him.If he come in a rudy way just tell him%26quot;honey that is not good way just tell me in a good way,what is wrong with you babe?then you start to touch him.He can tell you anything that he feels bad about you.

The last thing is this;I know we black people we are good in sex than any other people in this world,at least Indians are trying but we are great.What I want to tell you dear just show him you know not through words but through actions every day teach him the best way to do it.I know you are bored with him in this issue but you have to teach him not tell him,if you tell him,he will not listen but if you teach him he will learn from you.The problem of you is that you want to tell him dont tell him just teach him.When you see he has done wrong somewhere just do it on your own while he sees.This is the person who want to see no to listen.We have different types of people there are those who are learning by seeing and those who are learning by listening.

Ok I wish you all the best dear love youHow to change Fiances behavior?
Well sounds to me like you know what needs to be done...try talking to him again, if he's not agreeing to counseling or even to try to change..leave. You can't make a person want to change, they have to want it on their own. But you and your daughter deserve better.How to change Fiances behavior?
Find out what is causing his anger.



If it can be stopped then get it stopped.



If he cannot control himself now what will he be like with a marriage certificate?



If you can let him know, gently, that it is not fair for him to be like this, may be that you will not put up with it and he needs to change, then maybe he might change. But you know whether you can say this and get a reasonable answer.



Or just realise that he is one of those men who give men a bad name.How to change Fiances behavior?
YOU cannot change him



YOU can only change YOURSELF and your own situation. By being so patient and so forgiving, you are ENABLING his bad behavior to continue uncontrolled.



YOU have to decide that IT STOPS NOW. and there need to be consequences. Start with a week separation. The next outburst, two weeks. the next, a month. HE WILL MAKE A DECISION. one way or another,



YOU need to be ready for him to leave, Because that is what he will probably do. Rather than confront himself. He sounds like a manipulative person, almost a sociopathic liar, blame everyone else in the world but him. It's not an %26quot;irish%26quot; trait it is an alcholoic or dependent personality trait.



YOU have the CO-DEPENDENT trait of supporting and forgiving and enabling.



Opps i'm sorry did you want to hear that you are A-OK and he's the jerk? No, %26quot;it takes two to tango%26quot; as the saying goes.