Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?

My normally sweet little girl throws huge tantrums at bedtime and in the morning. This is new. She kicks, screams and fights every step of the way. She fights about which underwear to wear, which juice to drink, anything that she can fight about she will. This is taking a toll on us and is just exhausting. I don't understand the sudden change in her behavior or have a clue how to handle it. Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
The library and bookstores have lots of childrearing books. Pick one up, look for your problem--and if it works, THEN buy the book.

Remember the Terrible Twos? Well, age 4 is just like 2 except for three things. 1. they're bigger; 2. they're stronger; and the mouth is a lot worse. A child may easily vary by six months, younger or older. My own daughter started at 1 1/2. Then you find out it's just a practice for age 14, except then they want to drive.

Treating tantrums is straightforward. If she throws a fit, ignore her--no kid can keep up red-faced slobbering and screaming for long. And then administer a %26quot;time out%26quot;--not when she's in the middle, but after she's expended all that energy. She must sit quietly in a chair in another room , and the time clock is running only when she is quiet. If she starts up again, a minute is added each time. Pretty soon you'll be into a discussion of how long a minute is, and what are the numbers to measure them and how do you tell them on a clock. As a reward for manners she thus gets to do %26quot;grownup%26quot; stuff; if she keeps aciting like a baby then treat her like one. All this hoo-rah she's pulling on you is her way of asserting independence, but you'll recognize her wish only if she acts like a big girl and not a baby. By the way, in the middle of a tantrum NO little kid can scream or slobber IF YOU PUT HER IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND EXPLAIN THAT THIS IS HOW BABIES LOOK WHEN THEY GET MAD. Before you know it she'll start making faces--you make some, too--and then she's ready to be rational.

But some kids are terrors. They have to be put in their rooms alone, but they'll start throwing things. My son would put everything in his room--animals, books, pillows,anything he could lift--under the rug. We had to clean out everything but his bed and a time-out chair so he could concentrate on what he did that got him there. And at first he would just come out of his room and start all over. I actually had to reverse the door handles and mechanism so that the door could be locked only from the OUTSIDE. You cannot let her run the house--consequences should be swift and explained and consistent--punishment means isolating her away from what she wants to run.

Screaming at dinner? Explain that THIS is what's served for dinner and she should tell you what what she doesn't like. Then ask if she'll eat just some of them, and tell you what she refuses to eat. Take away each dish as she does so, point out that she can eat what's left, and scrape every dish into the garbage once you have explained that she gets only one chance to rethink her choices. Nothing left? Too bad, man. The same with toys--if she resists putting them away, tell her %26quot;what you don't pick up must not mean much, and 'If I pick it up I throw out.%26quot; Take a large trash bag, and put in the stuff and put it out back with the trash (or better yet, make a show of donating them to a charity for kids that have no toys). If you weaken, just hide them for a month or so and they'll seem new to her because they aren't that important. Most kids have too many toys out at once anyway. Good luck; the awful thing is that if you let kids live until they're three years old, then you have to let them live. It's in Numbers or one of those Old Testament books that nobody ever reads.Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
She is reaching an age of independence. She wants to be an individual with her own ideas. Give her some choices and let her decide before the tantrums. If she insists on wearing a certain underwear start by asking which she would like to wear since she is a big girl now and let her decide. Ask her what type of juice she wants giving her choices if you have them (ex: apple or orange juice). Praise her for being such a big girl. If she throws a tantrum simply ignore it and walk away from her. Do not give her what she wants when she does this. When she is done screaming or laying, kicking her feet tell her she can go to a time out area for 3 minutes for her behavior. Sit her on the area making sure not to give her attention but make sure she knows she is not to get up. If she does simply carry her back to the spot, tell her quietly and calmly she needs to sit in the time out seat for 3 mnutes and again walk away. Continue this until she has sat for the entre 3 minutes without getting up. At that time tell her she can get up now and sit at the table and have breakfast (Do not give her choices because she didn't earn them due to her behavior). If she starts to throw a tantrum put her back in the time out seat. If she refuses to drink the juice, ignore her and throw away the juice, Do not give her another option, she will have to wait until later for a drink at that point. Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
Most 3 1/2 years old girl change a lot . 3 years old they want to do it by them self so let her do it and teach her how to pair the clothes to wear and what to drink with the sandwitch,what juice is healty for her body.Also what big girl do to develop their personality .So far she doesent know yet but once you tell her the right way to be a big girl she will leard and do everything you do and involve her on your regular choir and all she does now is trial and error for her until she make it right.Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
I know I have a 3 1/2 too. Sometimes I get so frustrated. The best thing that I have found for Eden is putting her on a time out and then walking away. Let her realize that acting like that is not good. Giving them attention whether positive or negative is still attention. Walking away deprives them of that attention. When she has calmed down then she can get off. You will start to see your daughter is happier and you have regained a little of your sanity.Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
Try letting her make choices. Do you want to wear these panties or these? which juice? As far as bed time girl let her cry that out. Keep her on a schedule like same bath and bedtime every night if you can. Sometimes they test you to see if you'll give and at that age they want things their way and try to act more independent. Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
Tune into the show %26quot;Supernanny,%26quot; or buy her book, %26quot;Supernanny: How to get the Best from Your Children.%26quot;



You need to come up with a game plan on how to deal with these situations and then stick with the plan. Be firm, show your daughter that you are the boss. Good Luck!Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
you dont need a book to parent all kids are different my 3 yo and my 6yo are like day and night tottaly different in the ways I get through to them. the first answer is the best give choices its a phase she's testing her boundries be strong and dont let her cross your boundies and it will all work outSudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
It's called the terrible threes. I honestly don't believe that the twos are that terrible. I agree: let her make choices. Bedtimes, well, have fun with that one... try telling her nicely, but very firmly that she doesn't have a choiceSudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
Let her pick out her own underwear and her own juice. She is gaining independence. Sudden behavior change in my 3 1/2 year old daughter...?
If she is in daycare that may have something to do with it. Otherwise start giving her more options. She is a growing girl and is trying to become more independent from the sound of it. I would start playing her game for a while and see how she does. If she wants to choose a juice drink give her three choices if she just looks and doesnt want to choose bring it down to two. The same with underwear. Now with bedtime. I would say something like if its 6:00 and her bedtime is 8:00. I would tell her o.k. you have to go to bed soon so would you rather watch a movie or read a book or play a game whatever you like then. Tell her at like 7:00 that it is time for her to go to bed. She is still going to be piss** off and thats o.k atleast she will be mad earlier and will eventually tire her self out. Also mommy in this process you have to be strong. You cant give in to her tantrum let her cry as hard as it is. Compfort her the first two times. For example when you put her in the bed do your normal routine I love you read a book whatever. When she gets out of bed or gets mad put her back in bed and tell her its time to go to bed and thats final. She still isnt going to listen so from here on out no communication at all just put her back in bed back in bed back in bed with out saying anything. That includes no water or anything because she will use that to. Eventually she will give up because she knows you are just going to put her back in bed.... I hope this helps Good luck