How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?

Like one of my cousin (girl) got engaged and they were going to singapore for honey moon .When i told my husband abt this he was shouting at me and started arguing with me.My cousin's inlaws didn't give Reception after marriage. He was telling that my cousins inlaws were waste like that he starts negitive things and fights with me.



Also once my sister her husband and myself were going in car . My sister was telling that her brother in law who stayed abroad

had sent cake on her son's birthday.when we came home my husband started telling negitive things about my sister and started shouting at me.

Even if i dont tell him somethings when he comes to know about these things he starts arguing with me.Mostly in night after 11p.m. this goes on till 12 pm . After that i cant sleep.Next day my day gets ruined.

After this argument he calls from office and says sorry for my times, And he behaves well for next few days .He help me in doing house hold cores .again this starts what should i doHow can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
You can't change what he does, you can only change how you respond.



Just ignore him. (Easier said than done, I know) He'll feel silly arguing by himself.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
Wow, your husband sounds exactly like my dad! He is always bickering w/me and my mom about stuff that shouldn't make any difference to him or stupid stuff. He also gets mad if he has to do actual work and acts like everything is anyone's fault but his. I don't think there is a way to change these types of people permanently. There's absolutely no way my dad would ever admit he has problems or go to counseling. The problem is that they are insecure w/themselves so they have to make everyone else miserable too. Maybe you should try to do some things to help boost his self-esteem and make him feel needed. Those are the times my dad acts the happiest...not a permanent solution but it helps some.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
well if hes going to get mad when you talk to him about them. then dont talk to him about it.. but as far as him getting mad all the time you need to let him know that its not something your going to put up with so he needs to learn to control himself. good luckHow can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
Say %26quot;that is my family your talking about and I don't appreciate you talking about them like%26quot; that and leave the room. If he apologizes say %26quot;you always say that but continue doing what you are doing. Please, if you love me, just don't talk about my family in that manner, please!%26quot;How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
He needs anger management classes.



It sounds like he is jealous of your family.



Maybe if you said to him.. %26quot;You are acting like you are jealous of my family!%26quot; He will realise it and be so ashamed that he stops.. just an idea.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
Tell him that he doesn't need to be concerned with your family's affairs. Ask him to not focus his attention nor his energy on them or on their problems, but on himself and on you. Tell him you and he have more important things to worry about and that you would like to leave your family out of all conversations from now on.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
Usually is easier for you to change your behavior or perception about what he says, but I understand your point of view.



By talking let him know that the way he express his opinion about your relatives bothers you, in the most gentle way you ever have say that, so in order to create a friendly environment to be able to talk %26quot;As adults....%26quot; so, if even when you are letting him know that his reaction and commentaries have a bad impact on you.... then in my opinion, he hasn't develop an adult way of communication, so its hard to read always between lines, usually when the emotional intelligence is not develop people often say: %26quot;I don't care...%26quot; when actually they care and a lot....



Perhaps one option is to try to ask for help, but if that option not really something that will happen %26quot;when hell freezes....%26quot; then give it a try by different approaches to the subject of %26quot;modifying and being conscious of the way you communicate each other...%26quot;



I really don't know for how long this have been or if always was like this, but if from the beginning was like this, is very unlikely that he would change his way UNLESS HE REALLY WANT THAT, but if this behavior is just like from a period of time till now, then is very probable that something that you say or do is making him react like this. But, as I told you I'm just guessing and giving my thought to you.



Hope you work out everything for the best. ;)How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
i have experienced the same exact problem. i finally came to see it as my husband is jealous of my family, as he is not close to his AT ALL! i got so tired of being defending my family, who has always been there for me to someone who has not. After 13 years together, after all of the heated arguing, ruined days and nights, and excuses to my family--i have left my husband. the apologies and %26quot;help%26quot; stopped having any meaning. i would advise explaining to him what this is doing to you and trying couseling. i did try this with very little success and hope that your husband is much more open minded. i never expected to be a single, divorcing mom--but my self esteem got so low and i was soooo miserable %26amp; confused all of the time that it was either continue to try to make him happy all of time at the cost of my happiness (and my son's from hearing us argue and daddy yell) or start over. Good luck and i wish the best for you. Keep in mind that you must look out for yourself and your well being.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
I would be honest with him and tell him how you feel. that you don't like it when he is negative all the time. And him always telling you he is sorry when he keeps on doing the same thing over and over is riduculous. If he were truly sorry he would stop starting arguements with you over and over. You need to sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. It also would be great if you two could get someone with experience to give you advice. like a counselor at a church or someone or a marriage counselor. It sounds like to me that he is jealous of your relatives. I don't believe he likes it when you spend time with your family and wants you to spend time with him and no one else. In other words, he wants you all to himself. Tell him to remember that when you hold on to something too tight you will eventually loose it. He sounds like to me that he is too clingy and needy. Tell him that you both need time to spend with other people beside yourselves. He needs to be with his family and friends. Or is he a loner and doesn't have any friends? Also, I believe he starts arguing at night because he knows that this gets to you and that it upsets you so much that you can't sleep. Also, I think that he believes that you will get tired of the arguements and let him have his way and stop seeing your family. Whatever you do, don't stop seeing your family. If you let him have his way, he will think he can control you and get whatever he wants. Don't give in to him. Tell him for a marriage to work you both need space and things to do It's not good for a relationship if you two are constantly together and never have any other interests or friends. The reason he behaves well for a few days is he knows you are mad at him and he thinks by being nice to you he can get on your good side. and that he will get his way. Again let him know how you feel. That you do love him but that you also love your family. And that your family isn't taking away your love for him. that it makes you feel better when you can spend time with your family. I also believe that he is jealous of the relationship you have with your family. He may not be close to any one in his family and he envies the love and closeness you have with your family and that he wishes his family were close like you are with your family. It could stem all the way back to his childhood. He may not have had a good childhood and had a loving family that cared about him. Anyway, I think your best bet would be to consult someone who has experience in dealing with such matters. A licensed marriage counselor would be great. I wish you good luck. And that your problem will get better.How can i change behaviour of my husband he always criticises my relatives and has heated arguments with me.?
I agree that you cannot change what he does and can only change your reaction. I enjoyed the book %26quot;Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People.%26quot; by Elixabeth Brown. It can give better advice and perspective than anything else.