Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?

After my husband returned from his 8 month tour he completely shut me out sexually. He stayed up all night to watch porn. He knows I don't like it so when I couldn't stand it anymore I told him to stop. He threw his DVD's and mags away. Later he got another DVD I asked him to get rid of it He did. Then he started going online. Then of course he started lying about it, hiding it. I don't know why I don't like it. It makes me feel inadequate, ugly, disgusting, unable to satisfy him and he is a hyporcrite for looking at it against his religious beliefs. I have tried to change how I feel but I can't. It doesn't settle well with me. Now he says he has not looked at it for about 2 months. I have found no evidence. We are active together regularly. I don't feel like I satisfy him especially after having two kids. I don't trust him. He has to be looking somewhere else right? Is it possible for him to not look for me? I am scared he is going to cheat because i am not visualy satisfying.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
Honey, he just got back from a war zone!!! My husband is in the Army and when he gets back from his manuevers, I have to give him time!!!



It is hard, he is trying to make such a huge adjustment being father, and husband.



What I highly suggest and recommend is that you two go through marriage counseling, he has been through h e l l and high waters and now he is trying to adjust coming home, and being back from war hero, to husband and father.



He and you both need counseling so that the counselor will give you the proper tools that you can use to make that adjustment back into the life of family.



Honey, he is not cheating, he is hurting, and he has issues, and he needs time to get back into the swing of things at home.



Give him a kiss and thank him for fighting for our country, and then communicate with him and say that you both need help in adjusting back to normal life, normal family life, and you think it is a good idea that you talk to someone about what issues he is facing after getting home.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
Yes, every soldier experiences a change upon returning from war. He left one person, and came back another. He will be different. You can't experience war and come back the same person. No one can.



You mention you feel like your not %26quot;visually satisfying%26quot; to him, have you came right out and asked that question?



Maybe he would like for you to be more %26quot;adventurous%26quot; and that's why he bought videos. Have you tried to watch the videos with him, it might help to bring the two of you closer?



Religious beliefs or not, sex is a big part of any relationship. If your worried about where his behavior is leading in the near future, it would be important for you to talk about it now, before something happens that makes your marriage unrepairable.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
Depending on what his particular job was, what he saw, how he handled his duties, thought about things back home, worrying about being killed by a stray bullet or bomb, his priorities might have shifted.



Whether or not you think he finds you attractive, might be low on his list and in a way, he's living life to the fullest after seeing so much death and violence. Nothing personal, dear, but unless you've been in that kind of stressful environment for a long time, you wouldn't understand.



For all intents and purposes, you were both living separate lives for nearly a year, it's going to take some time to get %26quot;reacquainted%26quot; with each other. It sounds like he needs a support group, friend, pastor or counselor to help ease his transition back into the civilian world.



You should consider talking to someone too, all of your %26quot;self doubts%26quot; are like throwing gas on a fire for him. If you don't see yourself as beautiful, no one, not your husband or a million people, will make you believe it.



Contact your husband's ombudsman for information, cheating is probably not out of the possibility if either behavior (both of you) is continued.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
He probably just watched a lot of porn while on tour in Iraq. I mean what else did he have but his hands? He may have stopped after he got used to the real thing again. Try not to take it personally.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
This might have been a bad habit it picked up during his tour in the war zone. I don't know what his duties were while he was in Iraq, but war zones and poor conditions could have really bothered him and disturbed his psyche. Perhaps he and fellow soldiers would watch porn after a really terrible day of grunt work...and it helps him relax and not think about all the awful things he has seen or experienced that day.

Now that he is home, he hasn't been able to stop this bad habit.....Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
this is a hard time for any man. before i left on my first tour i broke up with a girlfriend i was going out with for two months because, i knew i didn't want to put someone i had only been with a couple months through that whole ordeal. i came back and looked at the world completely different but after a while of running around and trying to figure out the world i decided the best thing to do was go on with my life and started to further my education.

once i was ordered to return to iraq i did and spent more time than the first time here but finally made my way back to america. the %26quot;journey%26quot; totally changes people and he is just not the person you know, i'll say that with complete confidence.



things that were once important to him may not be anymore. all you can do is be there for him when he needs you and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. he may not be looking somewhere else but he also may, coming back is a crazy time and the thing he may just need is time and maybe space. men look at porn that's what they do but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
He was looking at porn for 8 months in Iraq... Maybe he is just used to it now... PLEASE THE GUY!Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
It doesn't really sound like he's the one with the problem. Maybe you should seek counseling if you are feeling insecure in your relationship?Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
You start saying its a porn problem but then you go into you not looking good? Sit him down and talk about why he watches porn and why he enjoys masterbating versus getting the real deal from you? Maybe its something you are not doing right within the bedroom? When I came back from my tour I had no issues like this. But i suspect the main thing is he mbated alot while over there and is used to it?Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
he was 8 months isolated, porn was his only release, eventually he may de-sentisize to it. And you can try and visualy satisfy yourself in the mean time, u look as good as you feel, then watch them porns and give it to him how he likes it.Is this behavior change typical when a man returns from 8 month tour in Iraq?
Hey Girl, this man has been to war.I have friends and family who are having a rough time of it after getting home. Please don't take this personally. It's not you. Give him lots of time to adjust to life as he once knew it. He has seen horrible things happen and it takes a long time to come to terms with these demons. You may never understand what he's been through, but try to give him compassion and patience. If you're not happy with yourself, do something to change. Work out, get into shape, be the best that you can be and love him. Appreciate what he's been through.Let him know that you're there for him, no matter what. You might have to be the stronger person for a while. Things will change, but it will take a while. Don't feel inadequate, you're his wife and the mother of his children and he came home to You.