How to change behaviour patterns?

my mum has always run hot and cold - she'll be overly affectionate one minute and the next she'll be really cold and sulking and not speaking to anyone. Sometimes it's because I haven't reciprocated in the way she anticipated but I'm relatively perceptive particularly where my mum is concerned, and sometimes I have absolutely no idea why the change occurs. She's not being manipulative, it's to do with emotions and insecurities I think. But it's like walking on egg-shells with her and sometimes it gets so bad I just wish I never had to deal with it again.



What really concerns me is that looking back over the last 6 months I can see that I've been acting like this towards my (then) long distance boyfriend. There were difficulties in the relationship, but I can so see why he wanted to walk away if I was so eratic.



The question is, can you unlearn learned behaviours? I'm assuming I learned this from my mum. And how to stop doing it in the future? Is being aware of it enough?How to change behaviour patterns?
she sounds manic or bipolar... and yes, you can change, but will need to remove yourself from the situation.. and have some personal therapy to get where you ant to be.....